Thursday, 10 December 2015

Sean Bean At My Wedding.



A few months ago I did THIS  to a selection of family photos. Unfortunately my heavily pregnant fiancee didn't react too well to the Beaning and proceeded to rip each face off and then binned the original framed Sean Bean picture which I had acquired from a charity shop, ignoring the fact that I'd shelled out 99p for it.

Things were a little frosty for a while.

Since then she has become my wife and we've had a beautiful baby girl. Our wedding was utterly fantastic, a big celebration with all of our loved ones coming together to share a perfect day with us.
However, it bugged me that Sean Bean wasn't there. To be fair, Sean was not invited as I couldn't find a contact address due to him not being a very social media friendly person. A little part of me hoped he'd somehow stumble on our ceremony and become part of our day, but alas, this did not happen. 

BUT with the magic combination of Photoshop, Tramadol and a chest infection, IT'S LIKE HE WAS ACTUALLY THERE! Now our big day has gone from around 85% perfect to the full 100%.



The Many Faces of Sean Bean.

Sean Bean

Also Sean Bean

Yup. Sean Bean.

Wednesday, 21 October 2015

Tyrannosaurus Rex

Baywatch dinosaur on Portreath beach, Cornwall.

I've recently acquired a quite fantastic inflatable T-Rex costume, BEST. PURCHASE. EVER.



A child's tricycle is perfect for the stubby arms of a T-Rex.



Hasselhoffasaurus Rex



More to follow. Many, many more. Too many more.

Sunday, 17 May 2015

Sean Bean


Best Charity Shop Purchase Ever.




Back in February, I found what I claim to be the best item ever put up for a sale in a charity shop. It was a small picture of oft killed-too-soon actor Sean Bean, printed straight from the internet with the 'draft' print setting and placed in the cheapest frame available. For only 99p! I naturally jumped on this, handed over a pound and gave a "just keep the change, I'm a charitable kind of guy" nod to the cashier.

When I got it home, I refused to take the 99p price tag off and put it in pride of place of our living room bookshelf, right in front of the scan of my unborn daughter. Naturally while this was completely fine with me, my fiancee didn't like the positioning of Sean Bean and removed it. So I placed it back. She removed it again. I put it back. She hid Sean. I found Sean and put him back...and so on and so on.

One night I was looking at my Sean picture, relegated to the top shelf and hidden behind other family photos. I couldn't understand why anyone wouldn't want Sean Bean's handsome and rugged face, his sharpe (GREAT PUN RIGHT THERE) suits and his untameable hair in pride of place to show off to visitors, home invaders and invited in Jehovah's Witnesses. He's Ned Stark for christ sake. He'd motherflippin' Boromir! HE PLAYED SHARPE! HE PLAYED SHARPE! HE. PLAYED. SHARPE!

So 57 printed pictures of Sean Bean later, this happened....



















No photo was safe. No photo went un-Bean'd. Improvements were made. I'm now sexually confused.

Friday, 11 April 2014

Operation Dog Bath.

MASSIVE FAILURE.




My attempt at getting my 48kg Dogue De Bordeaux to have a bath. It didn't work.